Your Turn

February 15, 2021
Constructive techniques to help young adults transition into productive grown-ups. As any adult will tell you, becoming an adult involves so much more than just reaching a certain age. It also requires flexibility, problem-solving skills, and the ability to handle difficult situations without panicking or running to your parents for help. "Adulting can't be boiled down to ten tips or even a thousand," writes Lythcott-Haims in this natural follow-up to How To Raise an Adult. "Being an adult is a state of mind that ignites the 'doing' that ends up forging your adult self. It's part wanting to, part having to, and part learning how. The hardest part is that because it's happening in your own mind you pretty much do it by yourself." Thankfully, the author, a former Stanford dean of freshman and mother of "two itinerant young adults," is equipped with a wide-ranging collection of concepts that will make young adults feel like they are not alone in the process. She uses her own life situations as well as examples from people she's interviewed to help convey the specific message expressed in each chapter. Topics include figuring out how to fend for yourself, developing a good character, learning how to handle your finances (invest early!), and maintaining a healthy body and mind. Regarding the latter, the author delves into mindfulness and the importance of being both grateful and kind, two attributes more necessary now than ever. Although the book is overlong and doesn't present any groundbreaking discoveries, the author brings fresh, invigorating energy to her mostly common-sense information. Her conversational prose and can-do attitude will entice readers to make it to the end of this lengthy book, emerging with a greater sense of what adulting means and how to proceed with confidence and enthusiasm. The author's sensible advice and friendly tone will help many young readers grow into mature, responsible adults.

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Starred review from March 15, 2021
Lythcott-Haims, a former dean at Stanford and author of the best-selling How to Raise an Adult (2015), now addresses twentysomethings, emphasizing the importance of "fending," that is, knowing "it's on you to handle something, and you're pretty sure you can at least give it a try." Fending and supporting yourself are the main ingredients in "adulting," she writes, while offering tips on talking to strangers, taking care of yourself, learning to cope, making the world better, and unleashing the powers of kindness and gratitude. Lythcott-Haims speaks frankly but respectfully to her readers, sharing many of her own gaffs, struggles, and successes. As a Black, biracial, and queer woman, she has faced many of the challenges faced by her audience, and she takes on complicated issues, including those pertaining to gender, sexuality, and culture. In the "Don't Just Take My Word for It" segments at the end of each chapter, she interviews sexually and culturally diverse young people who have survived seemingly impossible odds to achieve their goals. For Lythcott-Haims, success is about fulfillment, not money. With direct, encouraging, and heartfelt advice, Lythcott-Haims covers a lot of sensitive, relevant, and crucial territory.

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